my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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