TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
