How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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