The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
