she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
