i just had sex bonerless
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Found your dick twin last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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