he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
