If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
