She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
