i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
