This girl is more easily done than said...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize