I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
