508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize