Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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