He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Someone signed my nipple.
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