my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
