i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
