shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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