conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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