i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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