I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
