he wants to bone in the snuggie
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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