I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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