I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
