Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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