they need to just BURY HIM!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
