you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I supernannyed him into submission
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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