How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Be still, my beating vagina.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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