So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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