You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
