You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
