if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
