At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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