How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
