Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
