Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
