I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He passed out mid-signature
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
ok first of all what the fuck
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