My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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