i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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