I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
