I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
