i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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