You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
