i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
