Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
