You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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