I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
