Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She is in my trunk
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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