therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
