Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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