If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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