marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
