Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
