It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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