I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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