bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
