take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
