curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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