i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
