He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
