I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
